Blog about Proactive Parenting

Find the resources and advice you need, based on current research and best practices, to feel confident and in control caring for your family.

Let children set their own limits on physical touch

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Bridget was 10 years old and attending a big family reunion. Her parents Joe and Marsha introduced her to lots of family members she couldn’t remember meeting before. When Bridget hesitated to hug Uncle Tom, her father insisted that she give her uncle a hug and kiss on the cheek. Bridget obeyed her parents and performed the actions as quickly as she could. Afterwards Marsha and Joe reprimanded Bridget for making Uncle Tom “feel bad” because she hesitated in her embrace. Bridget was confused about why her Uncle Tom’s feelings were more important than hers to her parents. She thought, “Is it wrong not to want to touch someone I don’t know?”

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The dangers of teen vaping

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Mark and Laura were divorced and raising teenagers. When Mark had his teens at his house, he would find vaping materials in their rooms and in their backpacks. He had many concerns about his children vaping, but seemed to be unable to find out where they were purchasing their supplies. Mark’s children were underage and should not have been able to buy these supplies. Yet no matter how many times he threw their vaping pens and flavored cartridges away, they always had new ones on their next stay. Mark wondered, “where are they buying this stuff?”

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How to help young children listen and follow instructions

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Claudia and William were at the grocery store with their 4-year-old son, Billy, who was sitting in the cart. Claudia and William stopped to discuss an item and Billy let out a loud scream. Claudia quickly turned around and said, “Billy, don’t do that,” then returned to her discussion with William. After 10 seconds, Billy screamed again. This time Claudia turned and gave Billy a hard stare and said, “Stop.” A few seconds passed and Billy screamed again. This time Claudia didn’t even look up and continued the conversation with her husband. Even though she was trying to ignore her son’s outburst, she wondered why Billy kept screaming and didn’t listen to her.

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Parental homework has to end

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After picking up her twins from school and providing an after-school snack, Jane asked her children to start their homework. She didn’t make it five steps out of their bedroom door before the requests “help” began. For the next two hours, Jane moved between her two children to keep them focused on doing their homework and assist them to complete it. As she bounced back and forth between her children she wondered,” who is responsible for making sure homework gets done – me or my children?”

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