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Are you prepared to launch (Mommy version)? ‘Letting go’ before moving on

Are you prepared to launch (Mommy version)? ‘Letting go’ before moving on

Sometimes the launch site has given you and your family wonderful experiences. Other times, the launch site may have been filled with frustration or difficulties. Regardless of which type of launch site is affecting your family, it’s worthwhile to create a feeling of closure so that you can feel good about launching and be ready to accept landing in the new location.

Letting go is a process that varies based on the experience you had, your personality, and your tolerance of change.


Generally the process of letting go includes:

  1. Accepting the reality of moving.
    • A move can feel overwhelming and it is easy to avoid thinking about it. This is especially true if you are happy where you are or are worried about where you will be landing.
    • To avoid feeling overwhelmed, break down the tasks necessary to make the move, and create a calendar to spread things out in a way that feels comfortable and manageable.
  2. Communicating with friends and acquaintances about the upcoming move.
    • The expression of feelings is as important for you as it is for your child. Talk to trusted friends and family about how you are feeling. Share your excitement, doubts, or insecurities related to leaving and what you anticipate about the place you are going.
    • If you are overcome with feelings of panic, despair, worry, or fear, consider talking to a health care professional. Your feelings may be telling you that you are stretched too far and need professional support.
  3. Identifying positive relationships in your life to help bridge the gap between the launch and landing.
    • There is often a lag of time before you get settled into a new community and find new friends. The use of positive relationships at the launch site can help sustain you during your period of transition until you can expand your support network in your new location.
    • Maximize your communication with friends and family via the Internet (i.e. Skype, FaceTime) to stay connected and reach out for support when needed.
  4. Locating a healthy balance of socialization with those whom you are closely attached and limit social obligations with those whom you are less close.
    • It is very common to be overrun with requests for get-togethers before leaving. Try to focus your energies on relationships that will feed your soul now, and when you are gone, rather than trying to meet everyone else’s needs.
    • Moving is stressful and you will be very busy with logistical issues, children, and packing. Having an overfull social calendar before leaving will deplete your energy stores. Go for quality over quantity.
      • You do not need to explain yourself to anyone. Politely decline offers with a pleasant, but firm, “Thank you so much for the invitation, I’m so flattered/it sounds lovely/that sounds nice. However, I just won’t be able to make it. Thank you for thinking of me.”
  5. Acknowledging the sense of loss and uncertainty you will encounter with the launch.
    • Feel it. Own it. This is your life in this moment. It is completely normal to have feelings about the process. Rather than deny them, just accept them. If you don’t they will sneak up on you in ways you aren’t expecting.
    • Take time for yourself to process what you are experiencing. Schedule small pockets of time during your day/week/month to take an inventory on how you are doing and how you are managing. Some ideas to help you do this include:
      • Write in a journal
      • Play or listen to music
      • Pray or meditate
      • Exercise
  6. Avoiding thinking patterns that compare your current location with the new location.
    • Landings are most often fraught with uncertainty. You most likely won’t know what it will really be like until you are actually in your new location. It is impossible to judge what is inside a present from the wrapping paper on the outside. Doing so can set you up for disappointment.
    • Try to keep your thinking neutral and open. That way you are ready to receive what presents itself rather than trying to make things fit your desires. Staying focused on how things are rather than how you believe they should be will make leaving your current home easier and set you up well for landing in your new home.

Letting go is an essential part of moving. Failure to address your emotional needs as you prepare to launch from you social network and community can impair healthy adaptation to the new environment. Letting go is a process that can be learned and used to be able to say goodbye to a social community, feel confident in maintaining relationships with those persons that are most important, and staying open to accepting new friendships in your new home.

Knowledge is power

  • What new information did you learn from this posting?
  • Did it help you identify something in your family you would like to change?

Share your experience below and what steps you plan on taking to guide your family.


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Saturday, 19 January 2019

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Dr. Deanna Marie Mason

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